Stuff I've Learned: Last Minute Trips Out of NYC

City Guy, bless his heart, has a demanding work schedule that never allows us to plan a vacation more than a month ahead. Years ago when we got married, I was even worried that he'd have to cut our honeymoon short due to work (luckily, that didn't happen ).

The thing is, we love to travel, and by travel we mean, get outside the US. So over the years, we've had to scramble to get last minute trips planned. Our trips to Bali, Mexico, Egypt, Paris--all planned two weeks or less out. So yesterday when City Guy called and said it looked like he could actually take Labor Day weekend off, my trip finding machine went into high gear.

Within a few hours, we were booked into the hotel of our choice in Turks & Caicos, two reasonably priced plane tickets (with first class seats on the return!) and I had a name for the best dive shop on the island. Here's what I've learned that helps me with last minute travel:

1, Always have a wish list handy. I store websites for hotels or articles about destinations I' interested in in my Delicious bookmarks so I have them handy when I hear "go!" I also have a top destinations list on my computer. Of course, when you're booking so close to departure, you don't always get your first choice, so be willing to compromise a little. But you'd be surprised, especially in this economy, how often hotels still have availability. Flights are also sometimes cheaper closer to the date of travel, as surprisingly they were for this trip to Turks & Caicos.
2. Know what destinations are close to NYC. For trips of under a week, I don't want to spend more than seven hours on a plane. Here are some of my top close destination picks. Hours listed are for nonstop flights.

• 7-8 hours: London, Paris, Edinburgh, Barcelona, Peru
  
• 5-6 hours: Iceland, Costa Rica
• 4-5 hours: Barbados, Mexico
• 3-4 hours: Jamaica, Bahamas, Turks & Caicos, Puerto Rico
• 2-3 hours: Bermuda
  
• 2 hours or less: Montreal
  

3. Use Kayak.com to find the best air fare. Kayak will list airfares it finds and then transfer you to other sites to book. If you can't book a flight through one of the discount sites it sends you to(Travelocity, Expedia, etc.), go directly to the airline sites. Their systems are more up-to-date and accurate for flights that are quickly booking up.
4. Use Trip Advisor to find the best hotels, and to learn from traveler reviews what to expect when you get to your hotel. Once I book a hotel, I read the reviews again to figure out things like what part of the resort is best, what activities are can't miss, and any other recommendations from past travelers.
5. Have a good travel agent to call for upgrades, difficult itineraries or when you're losing your mind.
6. Have a reputable source for travel insurance. City Guy and I are divers, so it gives us peace of mind to pay $20 per person and know we're covered for medical evacution, in case something happens. The policy we get through Medex has a hazardous sports rider, which covers us for activities like scuba diving.

We make this work for us because we have to, but we envy those of you who can plan in advance...and spend weeks at a time traveling. Some day. For now, I'm just so excited to be going away. Too many staycations this year, though those can be nice top. Ever notice how quiet the city gets on long weekends? Wherever you are, here or afar, have a great Labor Day weekend!

Stuff I've Learned: A Non-Touristy Tour of NYC

Let's say you have a friend visiting from a city like, say, Los Angeles. Very cool, smart, well traveled girl, uninterested in waiting in long lines to see tourist attractions. What should you do? What is the quintessentially NYC experience?

My answer: food, fashion and art.

• Go on a shopping / walking tour of Soho, the Village (East, West and Greenwich), or the Lower East Side
  
• Skip all Mexican food or sushi. They're better done in LA. Instead take her to a cute little West Village eatery, like Blue Hill or Little Owl, or dazzle her with the architectural marvels of celebrity chef joint like Perry Street, Morimoto or Gilt. Or if you can get reservations, take her to one of NYC's restaurant crown jewels: Per Se, Le Bernadin or Bouley, for instance. Better yet, get hot dogs at Gray's Papaya or pizza at Two Boots.
  
• See some art. Do a gallery walk in Chelsea. Go to a lesser known museum, like the Cloisters or the Tenement museum.
  
• Take a walk in a park - Central Park, Brooklyn Botanical Garden, Bryant Park or Hudson River Park.
  
• Have dessert/ candy / chocolate. This city's full of amazing sweets. Sit at Madeleine Patisserie for macarons, Le Maison du Chocolat or Jacques Torres for anything chocolate, or go to Dylan's Candy bar and stock up on old-fashioned candy.
  
• Celebrate the written word. Go to a reading at a local book store like McNally Jackson or hang out at the NY Public Library. Buy a used book from the Strand or Biography Book Shop.
  
• Park yourself at a cafe and people watch. No Starbucks allowed. Try 71 Irving Place or Aroma Coffee Bar just off of Hudson.

That's the plan if you're entertaining your friend for a few days. If you only have one evening, you might do what Ms. Pinot Noir and I did on Monday, Columbus Day. Here are some snapshots:

1. Have dessert first at Jacques Torres. In this case, warm giant chocolate chip cookies.
2. Walk up to the West Village, passing cute little shops, like Yamak and restaurants like Pink Tea Cup, a soul food place. Stop at Magnolia for cupcakes and buy used book at Biography Book Shop.
3. Pass the Little Owl on a whim and find out if they can accommodate two without a reservation. They can! Eat amazing food two feet away from record industry legend Clive Davis and entourage of pretty boys (the guy in the picture is not him!).
4. Walk up to the Meatpacking District. Sightsee. Stop at Apple Store so Ms. Pinot Noir can pay her phone bill online.

Stuff I've Learned: It's worth your while to be "Fashion Week"-literate

We're five days into the Fashion Week, my friends, and yet again, I find myself obsessing over clothes I cannot afford. Like this amazing ruffled gown in today's Carolina Herrera collection! Oh, the beauty! And the pain!

Why do I spend hours on Style.com or NYT or WWD flipping through slide after slide? I'm not one of these girls who lives and breathe fashion, who can rattle off the names of the hottest designers and provide critiques of their past four collections (if that many had been had) without blinking an eye, who'd rather forego food and utilities than a pair of Louboutin shoes...in short, someone who actually gets invited to Fashion Week! So why is it that twice a year, I can't help but get a little crazy?

The thing is I, like many New Yorkers, didn't give a crap for many years. So what changed? A combination of circumstances:

1. I stopped being a grad student and started earning money, which meant I could afford to buy some of the clothes, or at least the clothes inspired by the clothes, I see in Fashion Week. And when you're in the work force, dressing well is an easy way to communicate that you're a> conscientious, b> someone who's got it together. And let's face it, when someone comes to work in a beautiful outfit, you can't help but pay attention to said person, even if you're crazy jealous.
   
2. As a continuation of point #1, I know it's a cliche, but in this town (more so than LA), people care more about what you wear. There's no hiding in your car! In NYC, from the moment you step out of your apartment, you're on display, and that means hundreds of times a day people are sizing you up, just based on your appearance. Sound unfair? Tough! It's NY. So, you can either be one of those people who learns not to care (good for you--you're more well-adjusted than most), or you can start thinking more seriously about what you're putting on in the morning...or the evening.
3. Even if you can't afford Gucci & Prada, the fact is with the fashion industry being as diverse as it is today (read: H&M, UniQlo and Target on the low end all the way up through Club Monaco & BR, department store labels and beyond) come Spring 2009, you WILL find something in your price range that meets standards of fashion as defined by this week's Fashion Week. So you should do your homework. This doesn't mean you should be slavishly devoted to trends; just informed.
   
4. It's darn fun. This is art, people, and it's just like us New Yorkers to embrace any form it's in, whether silk, satin, cotton, leather, feathered or fur. In fact, don't just stop with New York. The party continues to Europe! Miss Fashion, in fact, favors Paris and Milan's fashion weeks.
5. Some people are turned off by the pieces that seem impractical--the "I would never wear that" phenomenon. But one thing to realize is what looks "crazy" this year is often what the general public is wearing a couple years out. Also, designers aren't stupid- they know their customers probably won't buy their most outlandish outfits--not even the Richie Nicole Ritchies. They tone down their runway pieces for retail production, so don't let that stop you from appreciating their art.
   
6. And finally, after a while, with your sense of fashion honed through successive fashion weeks, chances are you'll make styling choices that will help you "pass" more easily for a New Yorker.
   

All this is just my way of saying fashion's one of this cities greatest pleasures, so don't be intimidated. Whatever her financial circumstances, a girl can dream.

Stuff I've Learned: Celebrity Sightings More Likely In Restaurants

City Guy and I celebrated one year of blissful marriage today. *blush* And to celebrate he surprised me by taking me to Blue Hill, Dan Barber's celebrated Hudson Valley fresh restaurant. I started with the smoked shrimp gazpacho; City Guy with the sweet corn ravioli--both so good I closed my eyes and made moaning noises. Our main courses were the Berkshire pork and spring lamb respectively. And for dessert, chocolate bread pudding with vanilla ice cream and peach cobbler. Oh god. Now I know what the fuss is about...

But what topped off the entire experience was sitting next to Kim Cattrall of Sex and the City fame, who was having dinner with the director of some new project she's starring in (I gather from my eavesdropping). I wanted to tap her on the shoulder and say "I loved Sex and the City! It inspired me to move to New York!" but I figured I'd let her enjoy her dinner. She doesn't look or sound like Samantha in real life, btw, which is probably a good thing.

The whole experience made me recall other celebrity sightings, and more often than not, they're in restaurants: Helen Hunt at Franklin Station Cafe, Gael Garcia Bernal at Hampton Chutney Company, Willem deFoe at Kori, Christy Turlington & Ed Burns at Odeon, Rick Ocasek & Paulina Porzikova at Shabu Tatsu, Oliver Platt at Parea...I did pass Colin Firth once a crosswalk in the West Village and John Slattery of Mad Men was at J&R Music the day we bought our TV, but even famous people gots to eat! So if you want to see celebs (don't ask me about bars & clubs--I'm a married woman) hang out at a> a hot new restaurant like Blue Hill or b> go to a neighborhood favorite in a celebrity-hood like Tribeca.

Funny enough, when I lived in LA, I seemed to run into celebrities while shopping--saw Ellen Degeneres at American Rag CIE and Sarah Michelle Geller at 3rd Street Promenade, for instance. Though I did see Charlie Sheen eating at Crustacean once...and my all-time favorite sighting - Al Pacino - was at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf!

Stuff I've Learned: After Being Away From NYC, It Takes A Few Days To Readjust

Hey folks. Sorry for the pause in communication. I've been away. Out of the country actually--"on holiday"--as the Brits, who were ubiquitous where I was, like to say. I actually got back late Thursday night, but it's taken me almost three days to feel up to blogging / communicating with the outside world / resuming my routine again.

I tend to experience 2-3 days of post-vacation blues when I get back to NYC. Could be it has nothing to do with coming back to the City, but I believe it does. How could my mind and body not revolt after being extracted from the above seaside paradise and plopped into tourist-infested weekend subway cars within 24 hours? The difference is so jarring. Isn't it only normal for me to mourn the passing of a fantasy life in which beach boys, bellhops, concierge and restaurant staff wait on me hand and foot and the most taxing decision of the day is what restaurant we should try tonight and whether we should lounge by the pool or on the beach?

I know by the end of this week, I'll have stopped looking so wistfully at my vacation photos and the great resistance I currently feel towards my daily obligations--work, grocery shopping, correspondence, laundry, working out, going to the post office--will have slipped away.

But it is in this post-vacation refractory period that I see my life in NYC most clearly. Before the rhythm of the city pulls me under and carries me along, I can see my life as it is: my constant striving and many disappointments, my stress and exhaustion, but also the moments of discovery, joy and triumph and above all else, even through my inertia, I realize how lucky I really am. Few people in the world get to live and thrive in a city as great as this. Few people are given a chance to pursue their dreams, however painful the journey, the way we do here.

Being away always makes me appreciate home more. I have to say I did say a little prayer of gratitude when we touched down at JFK.

Stuff I've Learned: Go to B&H Photo Around 3 pm on a Weekday

Ah! B&H Photo, how I love thee and dread thee! There are other photo stores in the city, of course--J&R, Adorama, etc.--but for sheer volume of inventory and selection, you can't beat B&H. Which is why I suck it up and trek down to 9th and 34th once a year or so to get my photo fix. Also, I'm very nostalgic about B&H. I ordered my very first Nikon SLR from them via their catalog many many years ago when I was a fledgling photographer.

So let me tell you something--I've gone to B&H Photo twice in the last two days. The first time in Sunday to purchase the item; the second time yesterday to exchange said item for a better one. Sunday was a zoo--complete pandemonium. There are 50+ customer service stations in the digital photo area and there was still a line at least 20 people deep. They had a little picnic table set up downstairs with refreshments to keep their customers happy. Nice touch. Still, the crowds made want to swear off the thrills of the conveyor belt delivery system and multi-step purchase process (select item, get guy to write up ticket for item, pay for item, pick up item) and never come back.

But alas, our hasty purchase (motivated by our great desire to leave the store in a hurry, I think) meant I had to go back for an exchange. But yesterday, I went in the afternoon, and there was no line. Night and day! I asked the guy if it was always this slow on weekdays and he told me I'd missed the rush. "Come before 3," he said. "That's when it slows down."

I know a lot of you are working at 3 pm on weekdays, but I thought I'd pass this along, just in case you find yourself in need of photo equipment and you happen to have the afternoon off.

Note: Check out the comment left by Henry from B&H. Their expansion will be done in the fall. And btw, he says mornings are better and so are Mondays and Tuesdays.

Stuff I've Learned: Don't Believe the Hype

I'm just as excitable as the next gal...perhaps more so. I did used to live in LA. When someone says there's a hot new [insert food trend] restaurant in town, I think, Could this be the one? The food equivalent of true love? Will I eat there once and be unable to forget the delectable pleasures?

I have this reaction despite of the fact that I have been burned by this town too many times. When I first moved here, I ate at all the hot spots of the moment--Mixx, Public, Town, BLT Fish, Del Posto--and you know what? I've never gone back. I went through a bit of a mourning phase. This town's all glitz and show and no substance, I thought. Nothing I could sink my teeth into, literally.

I learned that the greater the hype, the fancier the digs, the more celebrated the chef, the greater the expectation, the higher chance of disappointment. This is not to say some restaurants don't live up to the hype. When they do, you really want to shout it from the water towers, "This is amazing!!" Eleven Madison Park did that for me. Megu and Le Bernadin too. That's why you keep slogging through, eating at culinary equivalents of plane movies, just to find that one gem.

I had that "no big whup" experience a couple times this week. First, ordering burgers from the newly opened Wall Street Burger Shoppe. I was all set to post a glowing review. It's not every day a new eatery opens up in the FiDi. But the patty was dry and the bun flaccid. The sauce was underwhelming, and there wasn't even a tomato or onions. Just shredded lettuce. If I find myself saying I'd rather have a Big Mac, you know I won't eat it again.

I also tried another dessert bar this week--Kyotofu. It's a beautiful space, and the food is presented beautifully, as you would expect from the Japanese. But if I find myself saying I'd rather be eating at the Mitsuwa food court, you know you've got a problem. It wasn't bad. I had the lavender tea (pretty good) and the dessert prix fixe. Every course was tasty, but I guess when I paying $30 for dessert, I guess I expect more. I want to be transported. I want to leave craving the food. Thus, the catch-22, as stated above. I probably won't be going back.

In fact, I'm sick of this dessert bar trend. I can't even remember what I ordered at Room4Dessert, over a year ago. That's how memorable it was. Sometimes, the simpler, the realer the better the food. Sometimes pretty plating and fancy furniture doesn't add to the experience. When it comes to food, the only sense that needs stimulating in the end are the taste buds. Everything else is gravy...

So, score is NYC: 2, The Girl Next Door: 0. But that's part of being a New Yorker. Knowing you'll get had 4 times out of 5, but boy, is that 5th time worth waiting for.

Stuff I've Learned:Why the Sex and the City Movie Made Me Love NYC Again

Last night, Miss Fashion and I saw the Sex and the City movie at the Loews Village 7. It was 5:30 on a Thursday, but the theater was packed, which shows me that no matter what the stodgy old bald critics say, we girls love what we love. And our verdict? We loved it!! Seriously, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll think deep thoughts, you'll think superficial thoughts...

As we walked out of the theater, I kept gushing about how surprisingly good it was, how it was now officially one of my most favorite chick flicks--rivaling my love for Bridget Jones' Diary. It was like I'd just had a moment of grace or something. Maybe I had. I'd been in the doldrums for a couple days, but by the time I left the theater, I swear my face muscles were sore, as they say, from all the smiling I did throughout the film.

Why? I don't want to give anything away, and I think it helped that I had low expectations going in, but to begin with, how can you not love the candy-colored, perfectly lit parade of fashion, friendship and fine-ass men that is Sex and the City?

In what other city do women take their fashion so seriously? Yes, you can say it's superficial and materialistic, but the way I look at it, it's wearable art, and when you're confronted by beauty, even if you yourself can't afford it, you have to gives props.

You can't help but imagine yourself living that life. I also appreciate how real they kept things - the girls are married, have kids, are older now, and the movie explores the challenges women face at this phase in their lives. It's like we've grown up--all of us girls. Then again, Sex and the City has always aired the issues, problems, feelings we girls don't like to talk about, except with our best friends. This is a movie that will make you glad for your best girlfriends. I wished mine were all here in NYC with me.

And of course, there's Big, out modern-day prince charming. You know what I'm talking about. (Oh, and the massive eye-candy that is Samantha's next door neighbor in LA--oh my...)

Most importantly, the movie reminded me of how optimistic and excited I was before moving to the City all those years ago. When I was in LA, I used to watch the series and imagine finding love, success, friendship...great fashion in the City. I imagined my life would be exciting, stimulating, that I would grow my wings and really take flight here.

Carrie says in the movie, 20-something girls move to New York to find the two L's: Love and Labels (fashion, that is)--which is a clever line, but somehow struck a chord with me. I did find my love in NYC, so at least I got that right. And I guess I found my labels too, to a degree, because when I was watching the movie last night, I could identify so many more "insider NY" things than before--like the fashions, the restaurants, the characters, the looking for a perfect condo. This time, it felt like a movie about my city, not just a city I wanted to be part of. And I'd never felt that way before.

Samantha actually lives in LA for most of the film, and I was thinking about how much I do still love LA--the house she lives in on the beach is what my dream home would look like. But the character arc that she goes through reminded me that in NY, even though the city has kicked my ass many times, I'm probably a stronger, more dynamic person and in some ways, more my true self than I would be anywhere else. It's a straightforward city, like a true New Yorker. It tells you what you have to do in order to achieve your dreams. Those who can't ante up can leave, I guess, but then you'll never know who you could have been.

For the time being, I'm still basking in the glow of the movie and dreaming of the day when I can have Carrie's 5th Avenue closet...fully stocked, of course.

Stuff I've Learned: Friends Move Away

I have a friend--let's call her Poetess. Poetess and I met during grad school and instantly connected over our love of tea, food, common alma mater and left-brained husbands. Over the years, she's been the kind of friend I can meet for lunch and spend an entire afternoon with, laughing and commiserating over something or another.

This week, she's moving out of the City. Like so many other friends I've met since moving here, she is leaving (her husband got a job in another city), and God knows when I'll see her again. Hopefully soon, but it's hard. I have friends I love in LA who I haven't seen in almost five years.

Maybe it's just my circle of friends, but sooner or later, the question of leaving always comes up , and, in many cases, the answer is "It's time." She's at least the fourth close girlfriend of mine to leave the city in the last few years, and every time, there's a space left in my life that is never quite filled again. And I wonder, is there something about NYC that makes a person feel there will always be an end? Do most of us come knowing it will be home just for a little while, not forever?

In a city where it's so hard to break through people's defenses and find a true friend (especially when you're out of school), each person lost is not easily replaced. Could this be why, I, too, think I'll eventually leave? And if so, can I ever convince myself this City is home?

Today, we had shared our last pots of tea, and said our final goodbye on a corner in Astor Place. "I'll be back," she said. To visit, she meant. And I promised her I'd try to visit too.

Stuff I've Learned: Sneakers Are a No-No

On Saturday, I went to Woodbury Commons Outlets with Miss Fashion, a friend who I would call a fashionista, except that suggest she's a snob about fashion and really, she's very nice. Not Devil Wears Prada at all...except for the wearing Prada part. In fact, she wore the above pictured 4-inch Prada heels all day on Saturday - and we were shopping from 9 am to 7 or 8 pm or so. I, myself, never leave the house in flats or running shoes, unless I'm doing actual running, but I figured, outlet stores, lots of walking, sensible shoes needed. So I wore these cute new ballet flats I have, but still by end of day, I had a bloody heal and my metatarsals felt like they were going to snap off. Suffice it to say, around 3 pm or so, I wished I had thwarted fashion and just worn sneakers. I envy Miss Fashion. As I limped back to the car with my loot on my flat feet, she was still strutting those Prada heels.

Which brings me to my point: it's hard work keeping up in NYC, much harder than in LA. Here, if you want to be a stylish Manhattan girl (I can't speak for the other boroughs), you've got to keep up! From what I've noticed, this means, well...

a> Not wearing athletic shoes of any kind when walking the city. Doing so runs the risk of being mistaken for a tourist. Being a Manhattan girl means suffering...that's what those bunion surgery ads on the subway are for.
b> Keeping up with the seasons...fashion seasons, that is. Even if you only buy a few key pieces a season, you must be informed...and ideally, you're informed a year ahead, from having stalked the designer collections hot off the Fashion Week runways on Style.com.
c> Middlebrow, alas, doesn't cut it. I'm not saying there's not a lot of girls walking around in BR, FCUK, and H&M, but let's face it, if you only shop at those stores, you're wardrobe is going to be a bit cookie-cutter. Don't tell me you've never seen some girl wearing the same BR dress as you! There's this immense pressure to step it up, to integrate a few "real" designer pieces into your wardrobe...that means dropping $300-1000 on a shift dress this season...so later, you can throw your H&M scarf around it and have people marvel at your resourcefulness. Don't believe me, check out the Sartorialist or Altamira.
d> Same goes for bags and accessories. You think they can't tell you're carrying a Canal Street LV knock-off, but they can. Other brands with no cache: Coach, Dooney & Burke, Kenneth Cole, anything you get at JC Penney's...
e> Even if you think the trend is ugly, seeing all the pretty girls wearing it warps your brain into thinking you want it too...e.g., Ugg boots, ponchos, flip flops, sack dresses in past seasons, and this season, floor-length floral muu-muu-style dresses

Yes, dear hearts, it's enough to break the bank and break your heart to think of even keeping up. This is why I'm beginning to think if you're not filthy rich, preternaturally spiritual or just blissfully ignorant, you're always going to be a bit dissatisfied living in the city...No matter how fabulous your wardrobe is, there's always next season, waiting to kick your ass. Enjoy the summer!

Stuff I've Learned: How to Pass for a Native New Yorker

Came across a couple of articles on the Interwebs today that I thought you'd find either apt, incensing or hysterical. They happen to be at NYPost.com. BTW, I never read the NY Post, even when they pass them out in the mornings for free. Is reading the Post one of those things only natives do? But I digress.

How to Pass for a Native New Yorker is a profile of the Magic Garden, a party you can't get into unless you can prove--by answering a battery of tricky questions--that you were raised in NYC. The woman who organizes the event is quoted as saying,"New Yorkers have this reputation of being cold and pushy. But it's really only the people who move here from somewhere else who act that way." Nice theory...might be true. Come to think of it, I don't know a lot of born and bred New Yorkers.

The article goes on to say, "Schneider, ...started the Magic Garden in 2001 to build connections among locals in a city overflowing with transplants from across the country." Is that a little xenophobia I smell? Still, the idea of a reconnecting with old classmates and kids from the neighborhood is nice. You know what they say about wanting to be a part of a club that doesn't want you as a member. Now, I'm intrigued. Could we transplants start our own exclusive party? You get in not by proving you went to my high school, but by proving you're lost, lonely and bewildered--together, we could figure out why we're all so "cold and pushy."

If you're trying to pass for a native New Yorker, you could follow these words of advice. I'm no judge of what's native, but these tips seem pretty accurate. Though they do give the impression that our city's full of impatient assholes, don't they?

What do you think makes a person "native"? The way you dress? How fast you talk? Your level of snarkiness? How unphased you are by puppies, babies and Hallmark ads? How you don't think twice about walking ten blocks in heels? Your strong calves and ugly feet? I'll think on this if you do.

P.S. OMG. Our work is done. Check it out. Time Out NY's take on this is brilliant.